You can never understand...my torments...you just can't.What greater punishment is there not to acknowledge them,but feel them? I can feel...them...why? i dont want to. If i watch the mirror i can not see anything,my eyes seem closed.Closed inside,blue ray of life just aint there anymore,why should it be? when you left...how can they be alive if you're not here,blue love...how...i still wonder how you feel now,but a part of me just says "dont care anymore",well it's damn hard to do that,idiot. and so the darker feelings start to crawl,vanishing any last resort of hope or good i still posessed. Evil starts to rise around myself and i become someone else,someone not pleasant to be around, someone you dont want to chat with and most importantly...someone who wants to be alone.Feeding these,I realise that...they feed me.Strained soul starts to darken,like a virus it starts acting throwing its claws of careless actions to do. Yes,i am hurt,yes,i am strained,yes,i need you now dear friend!where are you to comfort me? were you not supposed to aid me in these times? guess you dont even care anymore cause i banished you too. yes,feed me like your child, be my mother in shadows, be my friend and lover. My promise is that i will keep you close as long as i'll be damned like this.....